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January 18 More Than You Probably Wanted to Know About RadiationI went to see Dr. Lloyd today anticipating that I would receive the Gemzar booster. My blood counts were fine and my daily temperature since last week has been normal. Surprisingly Dr. Lloyd said he'd rather just have me skip the Gemzar booster altogether and stay on schedule with the regular infusion next week. That's cool by me. The less drugs in my body the better. I'm 60% done with the radiation. Only four more to go. I saw Dr. Dolkar again two days ago and asked her how she determines whether the radiation is doing what it's supposed to do. She said her main gauge is a reduction in pain that the patient feels. She said that I was in an unusual situation because the area I'm being treated for has never been a source of pain for me. The treatment is to reduce the possibility of a fracture. It's a little weird to me that the radiation is done somewhat blindly and that she had/has no inclination to see what's actually happening immediately before the 10-day course of treatment, during the course or afterwards. The treatment process is pretty simple: I go to the radiation facility, change into one of those lovely medical gowns, go to the radiation room, lay on a very hard table, get my tattoos lined up with the three positioning lasers (one each coming out of the walls to my right and left and one coming straight down on me from the ceiling), the radiation machine whirs and clicks and does it's thing for less than 30 seconds from above me, the machine rotates around beneath me and does it's whirring and clicking from underneath me for less than 30 seconds again and then I'm done, time to change and go back to work. I forgot to mention that last Thursday was my sister's last chemo session after 18 months of treatment for ovarian cancer. She has made it through everything like the champ she is and is doing very well. We have the dubious distinction of being the first set of sisters to be treated simultaneously in the infusion room. January 11 C'est La VieWell, I went to the radiation oncologist's office yesterday and the technicians set me up for more films and when those were done, they said, "We'll start your treatment tomorrow, can you be here at 2 pm?" And I said, "I'd really like to see the doctor before I start treatment." So, I finally did get to see Dr. Dolkar and ask her if the scans are showing any improvement. She said that she didn't know because the scans they've taken didn't utilize a contrast agent and so she can't really see what's going on inside the bones. She uses the scans to plan the location of her treatment but the scans are not useful for showing what I wanted to know. I was somewhat disappointed because I want to know what's going on, you know? Is there improvement yet? Based on how my hip/leg feels I know there is but I want concrete proof. Anyway, today I went in for my booster chemo and the blood draw showed that my white cells are somewhat down. That fact, coupled with a low grade fever that I wasn't aware of until they took my temperature (99.4) meant that I could not receive the booster today. I did receive an infusion of the bone strengthening drug, Zometa. I'm on orders to take my temperature daily now and if it climbs to 100.5 I need to call the doctor's office to get an antibiotic. I feel completely fine. I will see Dr. Lloyd next Thursday and we'll see what my blood counts look like then. This may shift the remainder of my treatment plan down a week, which is kind of a bummer. Other than that, I learned that my tumor marker count taken last week before my 2nd chemo session is showing some slight improvement. It was 70 in the November 13 test which started this ball rolling (normal is 35 or under). Last week it was 67. Dr. Lloyd said that even 70 is low as far as cancer activity goes. He's seen it as high as over 4000. I did have the first dose of radiation today. Nine to go. It was quick and painless. I was hoping to avoid the hassle factor of having to go every day but c'est la vie. January 09 New MolesLast weekend turned out to be more restful than I had planned. I slept in Sunday morning, showered, and was feeling pretty good. I ran out of steam, though, while I was doing the regular "getting ready" routine. I didn't feel faint but I had to lay down. It was like someone pulled the drain on me. I rested a little bit and then decided it wasn't worth the effort and energy to finish getting ready and make the 45 minute drive to sing for my noon mass. I knew the rest of the group could handle it fine without me so I called in and then went to bed. I stayed in bed most of the day. I wasn't feeling bad or nauseous just zapped. Yesterday, things were much better. I did remember to go to my radiation appointment yesterday but I didn't actually see the doctor. Her technicians did the CT san on my hip and then they tattooed me so that my precise position on the table can be duplicated by laser (I have three new "moles" - very tiny black dots) and they asked me to come back Wednesday. The doctor will have looked at the scans by then and will have planned the treatment. So, at this point, I don't really know how much of a difference this scan is showing compared to previous scans. In my heart, I know there is a difference. The lack of pain tells me there is a difference. Other than that, my spirits are good, I'm feeling wonderful today and life is full of possibilities. January 06 Chemo 2Went in for my second full infusion on Thursday. It was four hours but I brought along my laptop and a movie to watch. My parents were there as always. Dr. Lloyd seemed to think it was a good sign that I haven't needed any Advil since Christmas Eve. Thursday night I was in the grocery store and realized that I was walking like a normal person: no slight limp, no pain. It felt extraordinarily good. This was the first time since July that I felt "normal". Today I'm a tad less energetic but otherwise don't feel bad. I have a very light weekend as far as activities go - only one mass tomorrow - so I'm taking advantage of the time to rest and work on some songs. Monday (unless I forget again, which is unlikely) I will see Dr. Dolkar and have the CT scan done on my hip. It would be pretty cool if the tumor in that area has already shrunk enough that radiation will not be necessary. I'm declaring that intention to the Universe...so there ;-) January 01 Happy New YearIt's been a week now since I've had to take any Advil at night. I see this as a really good indication that things are improving. I was supposed to see the radiation oncologist last Friday for a CT scan so they could map me for radiation. I was off work all of last week and totally lost track of my days. Bottom line: I forgot my appointment. By the time I remembered to call the doctor's office, it was too late for them to squeeze me in so I'm rescheduled now for January 8. I'm going to look at at this as a good sign, too. Obviously, this disease is on the back burner as far as my consciousness goes. The less attention I give it, the better. I do a lot of focusing on well-being and being healed and "ease" as opposed to "dis-ease". I do believe that what we focus our thoughts on and what we speak about receives energy. So, the fact that I can forget an appointment means that my mind is focusing energy in other, more enjoyable directions. Either that or I'm getting old. Anyway, on Saturday I spent a great day in Malibu at the Getty Villa museum with my girls and my aunt and uncle. Today I plan to work on some songs/recording. Coming up this week: round two of chemo. I'm curious how much fatigue I'll feel this weekend compared to the 17th (post chemo and post surgery). I felt no side effects from the booster chemo I received on the 22nd. My lungs feel normal again now. It's a new year and one that I'm confident will bring many blessings. Happy New Year. |
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